


Praxidike

by pearwaldorf



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-12-28
Updated: 2009-12-28
Packaged: 2017-10-05 09:06:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 792
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/40015
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pearwaldorf/pseuds/pearwaldorf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Physically, she seems to be all right, although some rooms he remembers being certain places are no longer there. (They come back, slowly, eventually, but not always in the same place. Sometimes they disappear again.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Praxidike

**Author's Note:**

> **Title:** [Praxidike](http://www.theoi.com/Daimon/Praxidike.html)  
> **Rating:** PG-13  
> **Warnings:** PTSD, flashbacks  
> **Wordcount:** ~800  
> **Disclaimer:** Intellectually, RTD and BBC own them, but really, they belong to the fans.  
> **Spoilers:** Specifically "Last of the Time Lords" and "Journey's End"

The first thing he does after he leaves The Master is check on her. The malevolent, angry glow is gone, as is the savage machinery that kept them all chained in that abomination of a Year That Never But Was. Her lights are dim. Every now and then they flicker violently, making the room strobe and his head ache. Physically, she seems to be all right, although some rooms he remembers being certain places are no longer there. (They come back, slowly, eventually, but not always in the same place. Sometimes they disappear again.)

She tries not to shy away at the touch of his mind, but it feels too much like him--_it_\--and she sobs, a terrible sound/feeling of _vulnerablepainPAINrawfearhumiliation_ that makes him clap his hands over his ears even though it's all inside his head. He tries projecting safe, love, _it'sokayit'sokayhe'sgoneneverevereveragain_ over and over until she calms down.

He crawls under the console, looping his arms around a support post. He presses his cheek against it and sits for a very long time.

//

He goes to fetch Martha and her family, and leaves the door slightly ajar. Some time later a woman with yellow hair and a red dress creeps in. She recognizes her from before, when he--_it_\--came here and showed the woman the paradox machine (she sees this from a distance, like it happened to someone else). He said something to her and she laughed, clapping her hands delightedly like a little girl. "Oh, Lucy," he murmured, gazing down at her, animal hunger and lust behind fond indulgence. They fuck against the grating that surrounds the console, and she tries to not hear Lucy's noises of pleasure as she comes.

Lucy's not laughing now. She's aged lifetimes and her eyes are as red as her dress. She slumps down next to the door and cries, long wracking sobs that shake her thin body like earthquakes. She extends a tendril of thought towards the woman, trying to comfort her as best she knows how. Slowly the sobs quiet, replaced by snuffling and nose-wiping. Lucy does not question the sudden appearance of a box of tissues, but seems grateful for it all the same. She wipes her eyes one last time and stands up, closing the door behind her.

//

She is weak, and she's always had trouble traveling through just physical space anyways, so it will be a long flight back to London. Martha's family drag mattresses from storage spaces and pile them in a bedroom. They don't say much, and fall asleep quickly. The Doctor sidles out of the room ("domestics," he says to Jack by way of excuse), and everything is quiet. Tish and Martha sleep curled around each other, and Francine guards them like she'll never let them out of her sight again.

//

Jack slips into the console room when everybody else is washing up. He leans against the rails and looks up at her, while she regards him. He walks to the console and brushes his fingers over the controls softly, stroking the buttons with his thumb. It's the first time he's touched her since he tore down the fence protecting the machine, and she shivers as she gets a glimpse of how he spent the past year. He places a kiss on top of the monitor, serious as death and gentle as feathers.

//

She never forgets, of course, but she no longer has nightmares that knock her passengers from their beds, or flinches from the Doctor when he touches her mind too abruptly. With time, adventure, and a mouthy ginger human to look after, it gets better. When Davros and the Daleks are destroyed, she celebrates along with the children, allowing herself to be swept along in their joy.

//

After Donna collapses in his arms, she cries out, sharp and keening, a burst of _sadnesslikethetideerasinghorrorrawandreopening_ that brings him to his knees. (He thinks it's the sudden dead weight, but she lets him believe what he wants.) She wants to shake and rage and scream, but Donna is still in her care. She knows her responsibilities, and she can wait.

After he leaves Donna's family, she takes him to Tawaret, where it rains all the time and the temperature hovers right above freezing. When he goes outside to look at the dreary grey landscape, she locks the door. He yells for a good while, and curses in about ten different languages that haven't been invented yet. She enjoys the feel of the rain. Finally, he sits down in the mud next to her, and she knows he is willing to listen.

She is the only one who can show him.

She is the only one who can make him understand what he's done.


End file.
